Thanks to all who have submitted testimonies. They are powerful! If you have a praise report please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Understand that my emotional trauma was more significant than previously believed. I can’t run away. God loves me completely and I know he loves me. There is no doubt or fear in that love. That is the love I want to experience. It all begins with my mom. Her addiction and her behavior left me defeated, feeling unloved and very distrustful of others. This led to my use of sex as a coping skill to feel the opposite of all of those negative emotions/wrong thinking. This also further my emotional detachment of using sex. While my relationship with my mother has improved (even after 20+ years of conflict), I still struggle with maintaining what belief of self -worth I do have. I do not want to get caught up in allowing how one’s value system dictating MY thinking and self-esteem. I have to create healthier boundaries, protect my limits.
I am giving up sex and sugar. At first, I thought it would be just sex, but I realized it has to be all of those things I use to cover my insecurities. While my sexual awareness has helped me become more comfortable with myself, it has also been how I avoided dealing with the emotional trauma of my youth. Those things that are the basis of really bad thoughts, feelings, habits (i.e. bad decisions). This is a weakness that prevents me from speaking and standing boldly on what I know. Scared to take calculated risks that led towards success ( mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually.My personal relationship with my significant other has to improve. Outcome unknown is scary, but the Holy spirit is telling me I have to surrender the one thing I think keeps the glue in my relationship…..sex. I have to be truthful about my fears so they no longer hold me back. I can’t continue doing the same things, ignoring the things that need to be address and expect “happily ever after”.
This is real and I am scared. I am very sensually aware woman and in my relationship, it has been a big identifier of who I am. This thought process has led to insecurities, poor self- esteem. While my significant other states that our relationship is not driven sex, I don’t agree. I believe it’s a big part of our relationship, but am I wrong? What if I remove sex from the relationship, do I have a best friend as I believe my significant other to be? Would he be driven to have sex outside the relationship? How will the dynamic of relationship change? Is he “my forever”? How is the relationship part of God’s plan for me? I hope to have those answers revealed to me. Once revealed, I hope to have the courage to make the decisions I need to make, to surrender to God’s plan for me. ( I now know I do have that courage.) It takes more than your will to overcome those things that keep you negatively bound. God requires a cleanse temple and unwavering faith.
This requires discipline, commitment. Jesus was able to cast out the demon within because Jesus was physically, spiritually and emotionally in a place to do so. It takes 40 days of fasting. There is a process of detoxing, cleansing and building anew to do the extraordinary things I have been called to do. God can’t use me as I am. In the Pre-Fast, Dr. Celeste says 40 is a divine number. I will be 40 in 2013. I am on the run way ready for take off. My journey is just beginning.This fast is about taking a stand on the quality of life I want. Creating boundaries will ensure my safety physically, /mentally/emotionally and spiritually. I have been challenged many times to believe that there isn’t a God but I now know better than to question God. I have been tempted not to follow my holistic lifestyle, my eating habits, my physically fitness, not to protect my well-being.
I expect from this fast to become renewed in my commitment to live a healthy lifestyle. One that reflects the wonders of God and all of his blessings. To truly be an example to show and help others achieve the same oneness with God, to embrace their greatness. I am very motivated to complete this fast successfully , work through my lack of motivation to take time for me, learn more about myself and becoming closer to God and His purpose for me. What I recognize from this fast already is that the message I am going to give others is what God’s message and it will change lives. This fast has allowed me to concentrate on my wellness and that in turn has made me and those around me happier.
There is a newness in me already. I feel it, so strong, so comforting. I have seen wonderful things and this is only Day 8. In Jesus name, I will be delivered from self-doubt, have a successful wellness practice, have strong, loving and long lasting relationships with my family and significant other. I will embrace my greatness and love every minute of it, in Jesus’ name.Thank you for taking time to read my testimony. This is an awesome experience.
2) My only child – now 20months – Dad left us when I was 3 months pregnant and came back around a couple weeks ago trying to be in his life. But a couple days after I started the Surrender Fast he disappeared on us again storm #2.
3) Last Wednesday my boss held a meeting and said to me that I will be receiving a pay cut storm #34)
I had eager plans to move from my current place of living into a much nicer and cheaper environment for me and my son until storm #4 approached and said the place is no longer up for rent :
6) Just when I thought there couldn’t be any storm left to hit me here came storm #6 my mom said she couldn’t take care of my son in Trinidad any more I had to send for him. He was suppose to spend the whole winter season there.
BUT God made a way that I was approve by another school in which there is childcare drop-in on campus. I received a call stating that a new job position has opened up with more pay and less hours for me, my immigration greencard has been extended for another year till the final approval and I now have a personal relationship with the Lord. AMEN!!!!