Who’s Calling the Shots? You or Your “Childish” Self

I had the most life-changing experience this past week. In front of 30 of my Sorority Sisters I bid farewell to my 20 year old self. It’s been a long time coming; she had called the shots for far too long.

In 1991, at the age of 20, I attempted to join a sorority; being a part of this sorority meant more to me than anything. But due to a series of mistakes on the part of the undergraduate leaders I was denied admittance. Though devastated I tried again in Graduate School and was accepted. However, the damage had been done; that traumatic event changed my life.

So for 22 years I haven’t had any meaningful involvement with ANY women’s organizations (including the sorority). Every time I’m asked to join one of these organizations I quickly reply any number of convenient excuses: “I’m too busy”, “I don’t have the money”,  “I’m in too many things already”, “It’s not God’s will” (imagine that, blaming God!). I have offered any and every excuse known to avoid becoming involved with any group that has the potential to produce more pain. But this weekend God said, “Enough is Enough!”

I Corinthians 13:11 reads, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

This weekend I put away childish things. In front of women who had (unintentionally) hurt me I spoke my truth. I didn’t show up as a wounded 20 year old who had something to prove, but as a vibrant 42-year-old who spoke as God instructed. Ironically, the session was life-changing for many of them as well and they too were set free. I love how God does that!

What about you? What little boy/girl lurks on the inside dictating how you live your life? Tell him/her: Enough is Enough! God calls the shots and what He tells you to do, you will do. Where He tells you to go, you will go. You won’t be afraid, you will live!

As for me, the 20 year old who had kept me disconnected has been silenced. She will stick around as she’s part of my story, however she will not make decisions for me and she won’t keep me for the destiny that God has in store for me! God’s calling the shots and I’m moving forward!!!

With God all things are possible,
Dr. Celeste

Your comments are welcome. Tell us about the boy/girl in you that you are now putting to rest.

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Categories: Cycle 4, Surrender 2013 | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Who’s Calling the Shots? You or Your “Childish” Self

  1. Dr. Celeste thank you so much for sharing this marvelous testimony! This is my first 40 day surrender fast and I am feeling like a brand new person already. I experienced something similar while in my mid 30’s as a member of the United States Air Force (USAF) and although I was confident in the job I was in I still felt the need to be a part of a organization that was within my command. I fought hard to be a part of this group and there were some good teachable moments but in the end I realize this group was not a part of the journey where GOD was taking me and after much prayer and cold hard facts I discovered that this was a time consumer on something that gave no glory to my GOD. As hard as it can be sometimes when we want to be a part of a group GOD lets us recognize the true story and then WE MOVE FORWARD!

    • We all have a desire to belong, to be loved, to be accepted. There is nothing wrong with that, we just have to line that desire up with God’s plan for our lives. You have learned that lesson. You have learned to say “yes” to what God approves, and “no” to what He forbids. Then we are able to MOVE FORWARD, sometimes at a rapid pace. God redeems the time even when we think we have wasted so much of it. With God, little time is needed.

  2. Krisann Johnson

    Amen Dr. Celeste, to the silencing of the boy/girl of our past! Your testimony moved my spirit.

    God is continuously blessing me–Hallelujah. In 1995, I went to the African American Woman on Tour conference in Atlanta. Iyanla Vanzant facilitated a powerful workshop where she asked us to close our eyes and imagine us running through a beautiful field of colorful flowers and gentle, green grass. The sky is brightly blue. I love colors and brights so I had the most wonderful, colorful imagination of the field the was as wide and long as the ocean.

    Iyanla Vanzant told us to keep running, laughing, twirling, and enjoying the field; and then, “All of a sudden, you stop. There’s a fence. You can no longer continue; and you look–and there, on the other side of the fence is YOU!” Alone, on the other side. The flowers aren’t so pretty any more…”

    That little girl is also silenced back in Chapter 3, and today I’m close to finishing Chapter 55–Praise God.

    I love Jeremiah 29:11 because I am free to believe and receive ALL of the plans God has for me; to prosper me and not harm me; plans to give me hope and a future.

    Than you Dr. Celeste with Peace and Love.

    • Love the visual given by Iyanla. We are so free until…trauma, abuse, rejection, loss…BUT God knows the plans He has for us (Jer. 29:11). Awesome; that is reason to rejoice! Praise God that at 55 you have a reason to live, a joy that is bubbling up on the inside. Despite all the things you have been through you still have joy! Praise our God. Thanks for being an inspiration to us all!

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